all it’ll cost you is the price of a family car…
You know that thing where you wish for something your whole life, dreaming it, living it, praying to it and then you finally get it and… it’s a bit shit?
I don’t know about you, but I blew whole chunks of my childhood imagining what it would be like to live in the Star Wars universe for real. I had complex relationships with Star Wars-esque characters of my own devising, had my own bucket of bolts smuggling ship, and my own weird, alien sidekick – Snoog, a giant Moldasian hurfsnaggler from Seti 3. My motivations were whatever popped in my head in that moment, defend the weak and downtrodden one minute and raid the rich (aka, the kitchen pantry) the next.
I even had my own weapon, a kind of lightsaber/blaster hybrid that let me slip between Jedi-wannabe and rougish smuggler on a whim. They were halcyon days, fueled by the rich and exciting Star Wars Universe.
Well, now Disney is going to let nerds like me live out our wildest Star Wars dreams in real life on a two day immersive adventure aboard the Halcyon, a Galactic Starcruiser – cum – hotel adjacent to Disneyworld’s Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge attraction… but it’ll come at a pretty steep cost. No, not ethically, I mean real cost: It’s NZ$10k for two nights.
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Here are five things that cost the same as a two night stay in Disney’s space hotel:
1. This 2010 BMW 320i LCI FACELIFT:
2. About 5586 Moro bars
3. About 4.6 brand new iMacs – the funky new pastel ones that look mega sci-fi.
4. About 500 plates of smashed avo on toast at a fairly decent cafe.
5. About half of Linda Evangelista out of bed in the morning, circa 1990 (probably)
This is just to give you a little hit of perspective before we dive into just what that $10k will get you at Disneyworld, apart from derided by everyone you know as a helpless nerd for all time.
According to Gizmodo, the immersive attraction was announced at the Disney Parks panel of D23 last week, and give fans the most comprehensive look at the promised Star Wars Hotel yet.
There’s a lot of info on the Disney site, and as far as I can tell you can make as much or as little of the experience as you want. And dudes, I had some doubts, but with it being just a two day “experience” I am pretty keen to give it a go:
First of all you’ll be “flown” by shuttle to the cruise in space, where you’ll see only the inky blackness of to look out on. But don’t panic, there’s more than enough to keep you entertained aboard ship.
During your stay, you can choose to be embroiled in an adventure either on the side of the rebels or the Empire. You never know when someone might ask you to participate in a heist or help a member of the resistance.
When you’re not part of a cunning plan or daring escape, you can take part in Lightsaber training with one of the many Jedi masters abroad the ship, or learn how to fly a cruiser with bridge training.
During the cruise, you’ll take an excursion to sultry planet Batuu and the infamous Black Spire Outpost, where your adventure will include a flight on the fabled Millennium Falcon and a daring dash through an Imperial cruiser.
Back on the ship, you’ll be invited to sample the cuisine of a thousand star systems in the ship’s bars and restaurants, dine at the captain’s table, meet creatures from across the galaxy and try your hand at a round of sabacc in the sublight lounge.
That $10k is starting to sounds like money well spent right? OK, maybe not. But it would be the ultimate trip of a lifetime.
You’ve got to wonder whether anyone not already in the States would be brave enough to put a deposit on something like that at a time when travel has never been more unreliable. Who wants to get stuck in Florida in the middle of a pandemic?
But even if the world is in turmoil, I’m not sure I could pass up the chance to actually live Star Wars. My 7-year-old self wouldn’t let me.
So what do you think about Disney’s two day Star Wars experience? Keen? or Crazy?