Not worth the visit (★, Directed by Paul W S Anderson) If the criteria for cinema greatness was based entirely on how ridiculously cute and heartstring-pullingly pouty your leading man was then disaster-in-a-toga movie Pompeii would get five stars and all the Oscars going. Sadly for Pompeii’s star Kit Harington (gladiator slave Milo) and … More REVIEW: Pompeii
No, just … no. (★, directed by Noam Murro) Oh dear God. And I mean the bog standard God, not Xerxes, son of Darius, giant ridiculous golden God King of Persia. Bloated, hammy, and ludicrously violent, Rise of an Empire is a truly terrible film. Written by Zach Snyder, who was responsible for the infinitely better … More REVIEW: 300: Rise of an Empire
Shoddy remake not work the cellulose it was printed on. ( ★ Directed by Kimberly Peirce.) The Steven King novel, Carrie, and the 1976 Brian De Palma film based on it, were wonderfully chilling takes on the horrors of burgeoning adulthood in the fish bowl of high school. Given that being a teenager is so much more fraught … More REVIEW: Carrie (2013)
Two hours you will never get back. Meandering, self-indulgent, pointlessly saccharine and obnoxiously trite, About Time is surely the death knell for Richard Curtis’s (Notting Hill, Love Actually) brand of white-boy-centric, navel-gazingly twee rom-coms. PS, Dick, top tip: when your hero uses a secret advantage to learn things about his love interest, end her relationship … More 3 second review: About Time
3SR: Hopefully the worst film I will have to lose hours of my life to this year. Tired, rapey and full of itself. Not worth the price of admission. Starring: Vin Diesel, Katee Sackhoff and Karl Urban Written and directed by David Twohy Action, science fiction, thriller. 1hr 58mins. R16 for violence, sexual references and … More Don’t be so Riddick (ulous)
